A couple of years back I got entangled in a relationship that I am anything but proud of. I am a Christian, I have always been, but this experience made me question everything that I was. There was nothing Christ like about it. Talk of purity! I threw it out of the window, because let’s face it. Sin is pleasurable but it comes with a price.
Am not proud of my experience. Am ashamed of the pain and hurt I caused. You see many times Holywood glorifies lust and sex, it has become so common that many think that a relationship can’t survive without sex. I know that this may come as a shocker to many, but this is an experience I have shared in very many fellowships for the purpose of helping out someone who is probably struggling.
The beauty about God is that even when you are big headed, he is gracious enough to pull you out of your own mess. Countless times I came to God broken in ‘repentance’ and countless times I went back to doing the same thing. Wallowing in sin. After all, the swine returns to its vomit.
One evening I decided to setup a meet with this ‘girlfriend’ of mine, fully aware that once we were in a room alone, there is nothing that could prevent the temperatures from rising. It was mischievous. Of course I knew it was not right, but what can a little sin do anyway.
But thank God for His Love and mercy, while I lay on my bed half asleep I get a dream in my sleep. Here I was trying to fly, trying to launch into the horizons above the realms of the earth. But as I lept of the ground, I felt a heavy weight get a hold of my feet I couldn’t fly very well. Something was putting me back to the ground. So amidst the scuffle I looked down to see what was holding me back and I guess what I saw! It was her pulling me down.
Then I understood that I can’t be unequally yoked and thrive.
In another separate incident I went to visit this hot lady in her apartment and of course I was hoping in my deepest of hearts that something would happen, I hoped for some serious sex. Talk of being a mischievous Christian. But thank God for His precious holy spirit who is ever present, it so happened that this lady stepped out and I don’t know what really prompted me to pickup a small Gideons bible that lay on her table, so I opened a random chapter. Oh it was a slap in the face, the very first time I ever encountered this scripture. It read thus;
[2 Timothy 3:1-7] But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
I broke down, I was overcome with emotion. Yet in that moment I felt overcome by the presence of God, I felt rays of love shine through my heart. I immediately picked up my keys and left her apartment. Telling God how sorry I was.
I share this with the world because as much as I have purposed in my heart to pursue righteousness, I am far from perfect. My only perfection is in Christ Jesus. It is he alone that can handle the mess that I am. I have had very many battles with lust, some I have won, others I have lost. But God remains faithful.
I’m deciding to wait because I still have a lot going on. I don’t want any lady to be a victim of my shortcomings.
To my future wife and partner in crime, I love you.
You can’t be pure on your own!
Life Infinity Blog 